Reaching the finishing point

Yes, I am tired. Yet, I have much to finish up in the office. Yesterday's off day was spent opening up a Trust Account for Renee, I waited for my turn at POSB for about 45 minutes. By the time the account was opened, it was an hour from start to finish. I have been wanting to do that for the longest time but just too busy. I am just glad it is settled, in case anything happens to me at least Renee's got some savings.

Dr. Chen said that she will check my cervix on the 4th of March. If I am already dilated, I will most likely deliver Russell next week. Since she is pro-inducing (fits with her clinic schedule), Friday is the best in terms of re-scheduling her patients if need be. It was this way with Renee and we found it suited our style. So, if all goes according to my cervix, I will most likely be delivering on 7th March 2008. That leaves just a couple of days to finish up on the outstanding matters at work.

Just the last few days, I have been feeling a strain in my inner thighs, not sure if it is due to Russell's head blocking some blood vessels or what, but I can be sitting or standing and mostly when I am walking, I will feel the pull. Not funny at all when I am carrying Renee. She has been VERY VERY sticky to me the last two weeks. She used to hold my hand and walk with me to the road side on the way to school and I will carry her the rest of the way. Then as the days passed, she would request me to carry her once we reach the ground floor. Then when we are in the lift, then now when we are at the lift landing ON OUR OWN FLOOR, she will ask me to carry her! Geez. plus her bag, plus my bag. argh! My back is really going to give way soon man! You can understand why I am tired?!?!? I just hope my waterbag doesn't break when she is resting on my tummy. That would be messy, yes?

Last night, I got up at 1.30am feeling a bit pukey, terrible back pain and I thought I was having some sort of contraction, couldn't feel Russell kicking. Panicked for a while, then after an hour, I drifted back to sleep. TIRED TIRED TIRED!

Pon-tang!

Ha ha, got your attention!

Renee started having rashes on her upper torso on Saturday after her afternoon nap. I took out the trusty old Calamine lotion and it seemed to work for the start but in the middle of the night, when her sleep was not so deep, the itchiness woke her up. I decided to take the wait and see approach so Sunday night, I tried the same thing. No improvement. She woke Eugene and myself up at 3am with her cries. So today, Renee got to "pon-tang" school....and so did Mummy and Daddy! "Pon-tang" work!! ha ha......

I decided to take this opportunity to bring her to the well-known Dr. Vasanthi at Kinder Clinic at Parkway. I have been wanting to check with her how to get her to attend to Russell after he is born. She is a really friendly doctor, her physical appearance really did not match the image that I had of her! Not that I don't like Dr. Ong, it's just that his clinic is at United Square which is really out of the way for me if I am going to have to take Russell for his jabs without Eugene. Parkway is ideal because I can take him when Renee is at school. Well, Dr. Vas says it could be a combination of allergy to some food (maybe the chicken wings at Ikea or the prata at Hollywood!!) and maybe heat rash, plus sweating causes fungus......hmmm.....well, the bill came up to $140. No complaints at all, I just pay as it "heals" me...ha ha....Janice and I joke about this all the time. The money we pay is firstly to placate ourselves, then we just cross our fingers the medicine and creams work for the baby!! Being a pediatrician must be the best job in the world, babies and toddlers don't know how to complain, and when they do know how to, they would probably forget the idiot doctor that always liked to stick a needle in his butt.

Anyways, what Dr. Vas said about Johnson's products came as a shock to me, you would think that Johnson's is a BABY product right? Apparently the fragrance could be the thing that irritates Renee's sensitive skin (of all the things she inherits from Eugene, it is sensitive skin). She recommended Cetaphil, which to me sounds totally medicinal and harsh. I bought two bottles at about $30, and tried it on Renee during her bath tonight. It doesn't have the foam and suds that I am accustomed to and I have a hard time believing something "soapless" can do a good cleaning job. Well, we'll see how it goes tonight......hopefully no more "pon-tang" tomorrow...hee hee...

Things that make me smile!

With all the stresses that I am feeling (yes, there was an internal incident yesterday which I will keep to myself for now), I need to think happy thoughts.....

Here are some words that my darling is able to say and its corresponding "story", things that make me SMILE:
- Ay-mee: means "Mummy", she can pronounce everyone's name except mine but I don't mind, I love being Amy
- wan dwuink: means she wants to drink
- muilk: means milk
- pay: at home, it means "play", where she will grab my hand and lead me to her room to play with her toys
- pay: in a supermarket, it means "pay" for things, even though I did not buy anything! hmm??
- wok: means walk, where she will wear my slippers and grab my hand to walk around the house, most of the time is to her room to "pay"
- kate: means biscuit, where she will use her thumb and index finger to put into her mouth to signal she wants to eat the biscuit
- pong pong: I am trying to change her habit and say "bath" instead, I hate "pong pong"
- shhhhee shhee: means pee
- poopoot: no prizes for guessing this one!
- boook: means book
- mork-ning: my favorite, means morning. I think she thinks it is a greeting so morning, afternoon or night, she will say "mork-ning"....
- bear-bear: refers to every toy bear she sees or possesses
- peeece: means please
- Q: means thank you
- shhhame: means same, her favorite is to take the smart card out of the SCV box, the message "Please insert Smart Card" will appear on the screen, the message appears on a shape similar to the Smart Card, where she will proudly put the card next to the shape and say "shhhame", looking at us for approval
- yap: means she wants to sit on my lap
- ite: means light, she will want the lights on when we want to sleep and she is not ready to sleep
- bwead: means bread
- scchit dauwn: means sit down which she must have learnt from Teacher Shirley
- oh-pan: means open, open the door, open the packet of chips or biscuit.......hmmm greedy!

I'll try my best to remember the above when the "happidural" wears off, when she is older and asks for money to buy a new pair of Nikes....

happy thoughts
happy thoughts
happy thoughts

The Class Bully

Yes, you guessed it....it is my daughter. And I am really upset about it. Here is the story.....

Apparently, on Tuesday she scratched a boy's face yesterday and pulled someone's hair. I did not get to hear of the story until after work. You can just imagine the feeling I had in my stomach. Questions that ran through my head:

- did someone bully her first?
- was it over a sharing incident?
- was she also scratched or hit back?

then, my MIL who is the one who related the story continued: when she went to pick up Renee yesterday, the Chinese teacher kind of "reprimanded" her (MIL), saying her grand-daughter is very naughty (huai dan!). Obviously, as a grandmother she will defend her grand-daughter. She said Renee is still small and the reason we send her to school is so she will learn. The English teacher was more tactful. Well, already the situation is a delicate one. MIL was complaining about the Chinese teacher non-stop.

Yesterday, I called up during lunch hour to find out how Renee was. I was totally expecting to hear, everything was ok. But nooooo.......my heart sank when I heard MIL saying Renee had two red marks on her left cheek. She suspects the Chinese teacher hit or slapped her. I said, can't be. Maybe she fell down or another child accidentally hit her. But she was totally insistent that Renee was hit by the teacher. I wanted to call the English teacher immediately to clarify. I thought there was nothing wrong with that but she said not to confront her, observe one more day (??? excuse me ???). Even Eugene said to discuss after work.

I am in such a horribly upset state. Half of me wants to withdraw Renee from the school, half of me wants to tell MIL to not be so overly suspicious. To me the main thing is my darling's well-being. The horrible thing is that I don't get to hear about the incident until after the fact and I am not there to comfort her when it happens. Sucks man.

Renee turns 2!

Sorry for not posting this on her actual birthday. We were so tied up entertaining friends on Saturday and family on Sunday. Yesterday evening after work (aftermath) was spent cleaning up. I vaccumed and mopped the floor and was flat out at 10.30pm. I also washed and put aside some boys clothes that my good friend Wendy passed to me for Russell. Boy, does Kieran have a lot of clothes!

Here's a picture that we took on Renee's birthday, compare her look (and ours) a year apart.

We had a quiet celebration at home as Eugene had to rush off for RT at 3.30pm. As we didn't finish the cake till 2pm, Renee had a late nap after lunch and got up late from the nap. As a result, she was wide AWAKE at 11pm! Bad for me! Had to just turn off the lights and let her whine herself to sleep. What a way to end her big day!

Speaking of naps, I usually make her have a good nap in the afternoons (on weekends) of about 2 or 3 hours. Then she will be able to last till about 10 pm at night (most importantly be in a good mood during that time) and have a goodnight sleep till the next day. Some days when we pick her up from her grandparent's house, I can tell when she has missed out on a good nap. How do I know when she doesn't have a proper nap? She is cranky during our dinner after we pick her up after work. Cranky with a capital "C". Last night was a good example. She didn't want to sit at the table and kept wandering around the hawker centre. Cannot blame her also lah, she didn't find our coversation on property prices interesting at all and would rather run up and down the ramp that lead to the main road. My heart nearly stopped when she reached the last turn on the ramp. Heavily-pregnant me had to grab her arm before she reached the roadside.

We went to the playground downstairs after dinner. Gerald, Vivian and William joined us for some overgrown kids fun. It was hilarious to see a bunch of adults use the small-kids equipment. Vivian and I were just hoping the spring wouldn't give way and Gerald and Eugene would fly onto the road side. It is also amazing to see Renee have so much fun at our playground. Afterall, the playground has the same boring equipment day after day, but to her, it is so much fun time after time. Some things we just cannot explain......

Just some of my observations......

It's all coming together

Hi folks,

Today, Renee cried just a little when I left her at school. When I walked away, I saw her settling down at the breakfast table! Amazing! Finally, some breakthrough after 3 weeks! I hope I wasn't seeing things because I was in a rush to get to work so I didn't really stay long to get a "truer" picture - if there was one!

Why was I rushing to work? It has been one mad rush ever since my colleague went on long leave during the CNY holidays. The struggle was not to send Renee too early to school since she was in a new environment and I couldn't bear to leave her crying to wait around till her other classmates and teachers arrived. So, my ever-supportive father has been coming round to pick me up from the school around 8.10am and we'll both be just in time for work at 8.30am. My delivery and warehouse team will be waiting for me to release orders and give any last minute instructions. Imagine doing all that with a big watermelon in front of you!

Now, with all the stresses associated with being the one who sends a teary kid to school and rushing to work where everyone looks to me for answers, I have to give myself a treat right?

I have booked my post-natal package with Rustic Nirvana. I see how Nadya Hutagalong and Zoe Tay look after their treatment, and I think my dollar will give me the same result (?dillusional?) hee hee......my other excuse is that I stinged on my previous post natal massage and this one includes a baby massage. Since I expect not to have another kid (it is really tiring and expensive, my dears), I should just go all out with slimming down, right?

My hospital bag is more or less packed. I have booked my confinement food package (looking forward to pig trotters!). The new cot is arriving next Wednesday. My daughter is settling down at school. What else is there to do but wait for the prince's arrival?

Take antibiotics for Group B Strep? Yes, folks, I tested positive for Group B Streptococcus. Sigh, this pregnancy has been one "issue" after another. I had to take a longer lunch today to drive all the way to Punggol to get my medicine. But I did that so that I can pick up my darling daughter early today. Yesterday her grandparents sent her back at 9.30pm and she was already sleeping. Half an hour in the mornings with her is just too little time for bonding.

The day after

A sleepless night, thinking over how I should have handled the scratching incident better. A morning of isolation, reading up on books and websites. I have quickly made a decision, there will be no hitting or caning. I will try reasoning with Renee from now on.

Best scenario: to have offered Tyler comfort first. Then take Renee away from the situation and reason with her. On hindsight, I did slap her hand and used quite a bit of force on her. I now regret it as I don't know what impression I have left behind.

A few moments more I will be going out for lunch by myself, a few moments more of collecting my thoughts and calming down before I see Renee again. Hopefully, this afternoon, I have some chance of putting things right.

Violence and Re-programming

If I did not see it for myself, I wouldn't have believed my daughter could be capable of it. Not once but twice, Renee reached for Tyler's nose bridge using her thumb and first finger to scratch him. Imagine that, only higher, such that the two fingers fit exactly at the inner edges of Tyler's eyes. Of course, Tyler screamed out in pain. Now, if it had been a stranger's kid, we could just move on and forget about it. But this is my good friend's kid, what if something really terrible happened? How am I going to face my friends? What has happened in the last two years that could have resulted in such violence in such a sweet little girl? Are they really innocent about not knowing the pain and injury it could cause?

The first time it happened tonight, I just let it pass, thinking it was a one off. Then it happened a second time, and I just had to do something. I went all out to reprimand her, I have not shouted so loudly for ages or felt such rage or embarrassment towards my own flesh and blood. Seeing her cry in such a hapless way, I started to cry myself. Yes, I am a softy but it had to be done. Now I only wonder if the message has been transmitted.

In the car on the way back, we discussed how we should handle this going forward. Should we be introducing the cane, hitting her hand with the newspaper or our own hands? Oh boy, these are questions you have only heard about in your younger days, not something you actually have to scratch your head over. I guess this is a part of our growing up, of making the right decisions that could affect our children's future and manners in time to come. This so-called re-programming is starting with immediate effect, otherwise I can imagine the mayhem in the Seow family when Russell comes into the picture.

Pictures that will bring back great moments

Renee at Borders on the 1st day of CNY. First time I saw her sitting down for more than 1 minute to flip books by herself!

Finally a shot of Renee and me, no shaky picture, no running off, no snatching of the camera away from us!

Picture of my greedy daughter, helping herself to the muruku after quietly reaching for the box and opening it herself.....sigh...

Renee getting her hands on mahjong tiles, will she be the next Mahjong Master? I sure hope so, I hope she is a better player than her Mummy!

Back to normal

It's the 4th day of Chinese New Year, everyone's eaten their fill, exchanged ang pows and oranges and gambled quite a fair bit. Hope you've made some money or not lost too much in the process.


This year, Renee's much more active (due to her mobility and natural inquisitiveness) so it has been a rather tiring holiday. We tend to relax on the rules when there are holidays. For example, people don't serve porridge for meals during New Year, so we have to let her eat whatever is available, some times only spicy food is available, so if she can't take spicy, then we let her eat the cookies, and my dear daughter loves those. What to do? Also, sitting at the table and listening to conversation can be a bit boring for a two year old (duh), so we can't blame her for wanting to "walk walk walk" around the house. Daddy and Mummy have to take turns to follow her around and keep her out of trouble.


At Auntie Kai Chee's house, there were more kids than I prepared ang pows for, so I went to the toilet to prepare more. I decided to bring Renee with me to the toilet so she could be "contained" in the room with me. Bad idea! While I was packing the ang pows, I heard some swishing sounds, I turned my head and saw Renee washing her hands in the toilet bowl. Ai ya! She had that fascination previously and I thought she had outgrown that, but apparently not!


Mahjong and card games are also out of the question for me. When we start playing either, Renee will want to sit on my lap, not her father's lap. It is next to impossible to prevent her from touching the tiles or cards or chips. There was once a couple of months ago when I got really mad at her for interrupting my mahjong game, I yelled at her (cos I lost in the end) and blamed her for my loss. She cried on realising she was being scolded. After that, I felt like the worst mother on earth! It is a situation I put her in, putting her in front of a table with "toys". Now, who can then blame her for wanting to dive her hands into the tiles? For wanting to wash the tiles?? So instead of being frustrated at her, I just don't play anymore. It will be a good number of years before I can pick up the game again, it is just one of the many sacrifices that I have made. God knows when is the last time I watched a TV program in its entirety, read the newspapers from start to finish. Nowadays, watching one episode of a repeat of CSI on Sunday is a luxury!



The Terrible Twos have started in advance, and I have another Rascal on the way. Happy Year of the Rat guys!

Did we forget about Russell?

With all the school drama that has been going on, have we "forgotten" all about Russell? With Renee, I kept every scan and detailed every feeling and compiled them into an album. I have not been so hardworking this time round. I guess that is what it is like to be pregnant and busy taking care of one rascal.

This pregnancy seems to have passed much faster mainly because we have been so occupied with Renee, which is a fantastic thing! It almost makes me forget all the challenges that I had to deal with:

- felt more nausea during the 1st trimester
- piles (eww, sorry have to share such gross details)
- ringworm on my belly (sorry again)
- headaches
- possibility that I had gestational diabetes (fortunately, last month's glucose test proved otherwise)

Well, last night was my 33rd week check up and we were given a really nice treat. Dr. Chen managed to get a wonderful almost-front view scan of Russell's face. Check it out..... He looks like he has really chubby cheeks, yes? At 2.085kg, Dr. Chen says at the rate that he is going, he will probably be quite close in weight to Renee when he is born....phew! plus he has already turned and is in a cephalic position. Hurray! So hopefully, we will have a natural birth this time round also. Not that having a c-section is bad, it's just that the thought of being cut up is really scary to me. We have been brought up from young to associate surgery with pain and blood and I am really afraid of pain and blood!

Just two months ago during a routine scan, Dr. Chen found that Russell's belly was a bit big and that it was possible that I had GD. There are many complications that could arise with GD, including poor health for Russell and I was truly afraid and moody during that period. Fortunately, things have evened out and yesterday's check up confirmed that everything was normal and going smoothly.

Then Dr. Chen had to go and ask me, "have you packed your bags?" Huh? We seem to think that March 23rd is very far away, but if Russell is early, as was Renee, then we are talking about another 5 weeks. Yikes! Somebody needs to go read up her books again!

Tomorrow we can sleep in!

Tomorrow, Mummy and Daddy are off as we have to take block leave. Should we still send Renee to school? I am in a dilemma. On one hand I want to spend as much time as I can with her but if I let her have such a long break from school, we have to start all over with the separation trauma again next week.

I can see she is becoming very scared to be left alone by me. I am not sure if she is starting to think that I am abandoning her every morning. As it is, when we go out together, she doesn't want to be carried by her father. I have to carry her a lot but after a while, I just have to put her down. Even when she is in the pram, she will check ever so often who is pushing her along. She will scream in protest when her father is pushing it even though I am walking right next to her. Once I take over the pushing, she will settle down and be contented. Hmm......just that carrying a watermelon all day and having to deal with the crying and the carrying at the end of a long workday can be a bit of a strain.

I try my best to accommodate her requests to play, sit next to her, walk with her when she asks me to even though sometimes I just want to lay there and sleep. Maybe I am overcompensating due to my "guilt"? But I just can't refuse her innocent look when she asks me to. Just the week that past, I can see she is becoming just a degree more "naughty", is she picking it up from school? On Sunday, she just refused to put on her diapers after sitting on the potty. She just pranced round and round me and I couldn't get the diapers on. I just sat there and cried in exasperation! It was really difficult to get up and chase her so I just waited till Eugene came upstairs to help me grab her. Even with his help, we took a while to get the diaper on, by which time the sticky tape was no longer sticky. Sigh....

Tonight we are visiting Dr. Chen for my I-don't-know-how-many-weeks check up. There is a detailed scan today and I am looking forward seeing Russell. Actually, I am looking forward to giving birth, then I can take a long long break!

TGIF!

Thank goodness it is the end of the week, Renee's first week is over and so it Mummy's trauma! Yesterday was cold turkey day for Renee and myself, I left her at the centre right after her breakfast, I remember her face changing so quickly when I told her that Mummy was going to work. WAAAHHHHH, she said, "noooooo!!!" and climbed onto me and cried and screamed. Finally the Chinese Teacher had to pry her away from me and I had to make a quick exit, tears already streaming down my cheeks.

When I picked her in my arms last evening, she grabbed me so tightly and blinked blinked blinked her eyes repeatedly, as if she couldn't believe I was in front of her. It is one of those moments that will forever stay in my heart.

Today, we went through the same thing but as she cried while I walked away, she could still say "bye!" through the sobbing.

Teacher Shirley reported to my in-laws that she was ok today. But, we have to go through it again next Monday after the long weekend, oh boy.....

This weekend, we will go get Renee's gift for her brother and her brother's gift for her when he is born. And we're going to YY's place for a breakfast gathering, hopefully the weather's good for a swim, Renee seemed to like it when we brought her last week.