Spending time with the kids

I know I know, I have been MIA for a long time and I thought I'd be able to update my blog last week when I was on "vacation". The whole of last week my in-laws were in Japan so I had to take time off from work to look after the kids. To be honest, I have been rather paranoid being alone with the kids after Russell's fall. I went into the week being really fearful and stressed. Renee is at that stage where if you ask her to do "A" and she'd do "B" and I'd need to ask her to do each task a thousand times. Russell is beginning to take 3 or 4 steps at a time so I had to really keep an eye on him at all times which was totally impossible. He ended up with bruises all over his face, with one on his cheek which my friend mistook for a dimple (haha, the shading made it look like a dimple). Monday and Friday Renee had classes so I had to load the two kids into their car seats and head to United Square. Thankfully, Renee will sit in the car seat when I am driving. The worse part comes with we are on our way home after her class. Russell and Renee will end up taking their afternoon nap and I have to bring them home. I'd put Renee in the pram together with all the bags and carry Russell in one arm, trying to steer the pram into the lift. WOW. Works up a sweat I tell you!

Had to feed the two kids properly so they didn't lose too much weight by the time their grandparents returned. The first two days, I felt like giving up as I realised I was scolding Renee endlessly. So much so, there was 1 day I said to her, "don't do (something, can't remember now)" and she said back to me, "if not, you beat me ah?" wah piang, I burst out crying in front of her. I must have been turning into Monster Mother from Hell. Each day that Eugene returned home, I ended up weeping to him. I felt so out of control.

Luckily the days became easier as the week passed and I can honestly say that Renee and I came to a common understanding and we got along pretty well by the time Friday came. I believe things will change once again once I pass the reins of "caretaker" back to my in-laws.

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I didn't insist on being greeted by Renee but when she finally said Happy Mother's Day to me at 9.30pm, I was so delighted. This morning when my in-laws came by to pick the kids up, Renee started bawling, because she didn't want me to go to work. That was the defining moment for me, I felt like I missed out on being a mother the whole week and instead I was more of a maid, I was looking after the kids too mechanically, just trying to get by the days without injuries, without fighting. It's Monday and I can't wait for the weekend again!